Desirable Traits in Women

By D. J. McAdam.

Having composed a list of desirable traits for men, it seemed appropriate to compose a similar list for women.  Recognizing in advance that this is, no doubt, a perilous enterprise, since I am a man, I've nevertheless plunged ahead.  It is true that I know nothing of being a woman; but it is also true that I can offer the perspective - however representative  or unrepresentative - of a man, and would ask female readers to charitably take that fact into account when looking over the list below.  That the two lists - one for men, one for women - should be virtually identical is hardly surprising, but is perhaps a reflection of the gains in equality that women have won since the days of our grandparents.

1. A woman should be of good character.  She should be honest, caring, and fair in her judgments.
2. A woman should be dependable, punctual, and a hard worker, both at work and at home.
3. A woman should be a good daughter, a good sister if she has siblings, a good wife if she is married, and a good mother if she has children, performing those acts in each case that make life easier for others.
4. A woman should be a good citizen, of both her country and her community, and should volunteer when she can.
5. A woman should have a calm, even, and cheerful disposition, controlling her anger at all times, and being sensitive when the situation requires such a demeanor. 
6. A woman should have a clean and neat appearance by consistently being well-groomed and conservatively dressed.
7. A woman should be well-spoken; this includes never using foul language, avoidance of discussions inappropriate to a lady, avoidance of gossip, and avoidance of speaking (or hearing) ill of others.
8. A woman should maintain her personal surroundings in a neat, orderly, and uncluttered manner. 
9. A woman should do her best to be as fit as she reasonably can be, which includes eating a healthy and properly portioned diet, and engaging in regular exercise.
10. A woman should be well-read, and should continually seek to better herself through formal or informal education, including reading, on worthwhile subjects.

And here is what is not on the list: one is not required to be wildly beautiful, or to be a gourmet cook, or to be fluent in six languages, or to know how to change spark plugs, or to have memorized the stats of every player in the NFL.  One does not have to be incredibly thin.  One does not have to have unnatural hair that somehow never turns gray.  Recognizing that it may sound incredibly chauvinistic and old-fashioned, I will nevertheless state that I have always been - and will always be - immediately enamored of women who possess what used to be termed a "sweet disposition," and doubt that I am the only male in existence for whom this is true.  Outer beauty fades with time; inner beauty increases. 

*****

"Even the most refined and polished of men seldom conceal any of the sacrifices they make,
or what it costs to make them.  This is reserved for women, and is one of the many proofs
they give of their superiority in all matters of affection and delicacy."
-- Willmott

 

"A handsome woman is a jewel;
a good woman is a treasure."
-- Saadi